Code Lols (21)

Hope is just unresolved promises

function ruin( [ ...dreams ] ) {
  return [];

export default function Hope( ...dreams ) {
  Promise.resolve( [ ...dreams ] )
    .then( ( [ ...allDreams ] ) => {
      return ruin( allDreams )
    } );

What do you .call() this?

 var these = _itshelf = itshelf = _shelf = shelf = _itself = itself =_self = self = _me = me = _that = that = _this = this;

Dude, No means No

//var newHTML = "<noscript>" + oldHTML + "</noscript>";
 var nope = "<noscript>" + oldHTML + "</noscript>";

It’s a Pretty Standard Form for Most Projects

<form id="projects">
 <fieldset id="upperManagement">
 <input type="useless"  value="high" />
 <fieldset id="requirements">
 <input type="hidden"  name="bussinessRules"/>
 <input type="hidden"  name="browsersInScope"/>
 <fieldset id="design">
 <label for="crappyDesign">Type of Web Design</label>
 <select id="crappyDesign">
 <option value="gradients and rounded corners">Web 2.0</option>
 <option value="not usable">Innovative</option>
 <option value="Only works in Chrome">Modern</option>
 <option value="Only works in Internet Explorer">Traditional</option>
 <option value="has to work in IE6">Professional</option>
 <label for="douches">Social blogosphere hipsterse</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm"  id="douches" value="douchebaggery"/>
 <label for="dicks">The Experts in Everything</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm" id="dicks" value="useless opinion on everything" />
 <label for="dumbasses">Startup Design Boutique</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm" id="dumbasses" value="owning the Adobe suite" />
 <label for="friendsOfCEO">They have a nice website...</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm" id="friendsOfCEO" value="it could be done better in wordpress" />
 <fieldset id="development">
 <select id="ourDevelopers">
 <option value="over-worked and stretched thin">Senior</option>
 <option value="new hires">Junior</option>
 <fieldset id="theirDevelopers">
 <label for="lowBudget">Off Shore</label>
 <input type="radio" name="devTeamWhereabouts" id="lowBudget" value="half the cost in twice the time" />
 <label for="noBudget">On Site</label>
 <input type="radio" name="devTeamWhereabouts" id="noBudget" value="twice the cost" />
 <label for="shitsGivenAboutYourProblem">Experience</label>
 <input type="range" id="shitsGivenAboutYourProblem" min="0" max="2"  step="-1" />

Finally the Black Sheep Song Makes Sense

var this = that;
 var that = this;

var youCanGetWith = this || that;

while (youCanGetWith !="this" ||  youCanGetWith != "that"){

this = "where it's at";


You know you could use the asterisk selector, right?

 font-style: bold;

the real miracle is in the stack trace

for(int i=1; i < 9; i++) {

courtesy of David Dewell

Why yes, I do have some comments


<div id="body"> <!--body-->

<div id="page"><!--page-->

<div id="wrapper"><!--wrapper-->

<div id="inside-wrapper"><!--inside wrapper. I use this for the wrapper that's inside wrapper-->

<div id="outer-inside-wrapper"><!--this is the wrapper inside the inside wrapper but outside the inner inside wrapper-->

<div id="inner-inside-wrapper"><!--this is inside the outer inside wrapper that's inside the inside wrapper -->

<div id="inside-lining"><!--this div  is inside the inner outer inside wrapper that's inside the inside wrapper-->

<div id="insulation"> <!- this div is protecting the inside of the inside inner outer inside wrapper that's inside the page wrapper-->

<div id="h1"><!--wrapping up that h1-->

<h1>Hello World</h1>


Daniel-san asks Mr. Miagi some dumb questions sometimes

dojo.query(".are-classes-better-than [type=text]".style("display", "d'oh!");


Dude, what?

<h1>Best practices for celebrity code</h1>
  <p>  <dude>Jeff Bridges</dude></p> 
 <p>Q: Is dude a block element and can it be nested in a <code>p</code> element according to valid HTML6?</p>

What’s great is that I know they’re actually there

<section id="rest-of-the-project">

<details style="visibility: hidden">






How’s that HTML5 Website project going?

<progress class="none">


You really know how to screw with me, don’t you?

Web Geeks in the wild

You Really know how to screw with me, don’t you?

<h2 class="woot">new project launch date</h2>



content: "proposed";



display: none;


Congratulations on the new Harley Davidson

You're an asshole



His Attendance Was Unnecessary AND Unacceptable

<DIV id="technical" class="meeting"></DIV>

<HEAD class="your-boss"><STYLE type="text/css">

.your-boss {color:#fa17ed;}



Hey, I think you forgot to close something…

<section id="your-mouth">

<p> This entire workshop he's  teaching </p

Lunchtime 1

 <stomach class=“mine”>Hungry!</stomach>

 .mine {-webkit-hover-sound:url(../assets/audio/grumble.mp3);}

But We Don’t Think A Helmet Would Matter


<meta name="description" content="You've made it clear that you're very special">

<meta name="keyword" content="special, ed">



head{ border-width:thick; padding:100%}


Please Stop Managing Project Plans Like Javascript Variables

var project_start == project_launch - project_duration;

projectplan.write("the project starts 8 weeks before it ends");

if (project_start<=Today())




else if (project_plan>=Today())


 else {projectplan.write("right on time");}


It Wasn’t Because of the Fuschia Jump Suit, either

<a href="//my-next-party/">

<codetype="html">Even if he apologizes for assaulting my fish...


I don't think <span id="your-boyfriend">  he  </span> is invited back.


#your-boyfriend:{min-height:"taller than a horse jockey";}