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What do you .call() this?

 var these = _itshelf = itshelf = _shelf = shelf = _itself = itself =_self = self = _me = me = _that = that = _this = this;



Dude, No means No

//var newHTML = "<noscript>" + oldHTML + "</noscript>";
 var nope = "<noscript>" + oldHTML + "</noscript>";



It’s a Pretty Standard Form for Most Projects

<form id="projects">
 <fieldset id="upperManagement">
 <input type="useless"  value="high" />
 </fieldset>
 <fieldset id="requirements">
 <input type="hidden"  name="bussinessRules"/>
 <input type="hidden"  name="browsersInScope"/>
 </fieldset>
 <fieldset id="design">
 <label for="crappyDesign">Type of Web Design</label>
 <select id="crappyDesign">
 <option value="gradients and rounded corners">Web 2.0</option>
 <option value="not usable">Innovative</option>
 <option value="Only works in Chrome">Modern</option>
 <option value="Only works in Internet Explorer">Traditional</option>
 <option value="has to work in IE6">Professional</option>
 </select>
 <label for="douches">Social blogosphere hipsterse</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm"  id="douches" value="douchebaggery"/>
 <label for="dicks">The Experts in Everything</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm" id="dicks" value="useless opinion on everything" />
 <label for="dumbasses">Startup Design Boutique</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm" id="dumbasses" value="owning the Adobe suite" />
 <label for="friendsOfCEO">They have a nice website...</label>
 <input type="radio" name="designFirm" id="friendsOfCEO" value="it could be done better in wordpress" />
 </fieldset>
 <fieldset id="development">
 <select id="ourDevelopers">
 <option value="over-worked and stretched thin">Senior</option>
 <option value="new hires">Junior</option>
 </select>
 </fieldset>
 <fieldset id="theirDevelopers">
 <label for="lowBudget">Off Shore</label>
 <input type="radio" name="devTeamWhereabouts" id="lowBudget" value="half the cost in twice the time" />
 <label for="noBudget">On Site</label>
 <input type="radio" name="devTeamWhereabouts" id="noBudget" value="twice the cost" />
 <label for="shitsGivenAboutYourProblem">Experience</label>
 <input type="range" id="shitsGivenAboutYourProblem" min="0" max="2"  step="-1" />
 </fieldset>
 </form>



Finally the Black Sheep Song Makes Sense

var this = that;
 var that = this;

var youCanGetWith = this || that;

while (youCanGetWith !="this" ||  youCanGetWith != "that"){

this = "where it's at";

}



You know you could use the asterisk selector, right?

.this.project:not(.awesome){
 font-style: bold;
 }



the real miracle is in the stack trace

for(int i=1; i < 9; i++) {
 hanukkahCandle(i).lightCandle(shamash);
 }

courtesy of David Dewell




Why yes, I do have some comments

<body>

<div id="body"> <!--body-->

<div id="page"><!--page-->

<div id="wrapper"><!--wrapper-->

<div id="inside-wrapper"><!--inside wrapper. I use this for the wrapper that's inside wrapper-->

<div id="outer-inside-wrapper"><!--this is the wrapper inside the inside wrapper but outside the inner inside wrapper-->

<div id="inner-inside-wrapper"><!--this is inside the outer inside wrapper that's inside the inside wrapper -->

<div id="inside-lining"><!--this div  is inside the inner outer inside wrapper that's inside the inside wrapper-->

<div id="insulation"> <!- this div is protecting the inside of the inside inner outer inside wrapper that's inside the page wrapper-->

<div id="h1"><!--wrapping up that h1-->

<h1>Hello World</h1>

 




Daniel-san asks Mr. Miagi some dumb questions sometimes

dojo.query(".are-classes-better-than [type=text]".style("display", "d'oh!");

 




Dude, what?

<h1>Best practices for celebrity code</h1>
  <p>  <dude>Jeff Bridges</dude></p> 
 <p>Q: Is dude a block element and can it be nested in a <code>p</code> element according to valid HTML6?</p>



What’s great is that I know they’re actually there

<section id="rest-of-the-project">

<details style="visibility: hidden">

<p>Timelines</p>

<p>Scope</p>

<p>Requirements</p>

</details>

</section>



How’s that HTML5 Website project going?

<progress class="none">

</progress>



You really know how to screw with me, don’t you?

Web Geeks in the wild

You Really know how to screw with me, don’t you?

<h2 class="woot">new project launch date</h2>

__________________

h2:before{

content: "proposed";

}

.woot{

display: none;

}



Congratulations on the new Harley Davidson

You're an asshole

</strong>

</jealousy>




His Attendance Was Unnecessary AND Unacceptable

<DIV id="technical" class="meeting"></DIV>

<HEAD class="your-boss"><STYLE type="text/css">

.your-boss {color:#fa17ed;}

.contributions{display:none}

</STYLE></HEAD>



Hey, I think you forgot to close something…

<section id="your-mouth">

<p> This entire workshop he's  teaching </p



But We Don’t Think A Helmet Would Matter

<head>

<meta name="description" content="You've made it clear that you're very special">

<meta name="keyword" content="special, ed">

</head>

----------

head{ border-width:thick; padding:100%}

 




Please Stop Managing Project Plans Like Javascript Variables

var project_start == project_launch - project_duration;

projectplan.write("the project starts 8 weeks before it ends");

if (project_start<=Today())

{

project_launch===project_launch;

}

else if (project_plan>=Today())
 {

project_launch===project_launch;

}
 else {projectplan.write("right on time");}

 




It Wasn’t Because of the Fuschia Jump Suit, either

<a href="//my-next-party/">

<codetype="html">Even if he apologizes for assaulting my fish...

</a>

I don't think <span id="your-boyfriend">  he  </span> is invited back.

__________________
 a:visited{color:#A55;}

#your-boyfriend:{min-height:"taller than a horse jockey";}



Pay Raises

<style type="text/css">

#pay{

width: 3em;

height: 3em; }

#raise{

display:none;

visibility: hidden;}

#pay #raise p:after{

content:"bullcrap"}

</style>

<body>

<div id="pay"><div id="raise"><p>Two Years of Hard work</p> </div></div>

</body>